MPrints & MPressions

It's all in the eyes of the beholder.















Monday, August 31, 2009

Melancholy Baby




                                               Still Crazy (in love) after all these years  

I'm not sure that melancholy is the right word but I can't seem to come up with a better one.  I guess you could say I have been melancholy if it's based on being teary and emotional.  Not really sad but pensive ... yes pensive, that's it!  Every year around this time I get into this same emotional state.   There are several reasons I have been able to identify. First of all, September 29th will be our 36th wedding anniversary.  I am overwhelmed each and every year by the depth and breath of the love that wraps itself around me and fills me with a sense of  wonder at it's endurance and strength.  More about that around our anniversary date. Second, in the fall of 1976 I was suffering from a severe optic neuritis and was completely blind in my left eye.   I also wanted desperately to become pregnant and could not.  I remember clearly the day that I climbed the small pine covered hill behind our house and sat on the pine straw and asked God to do what I could not do for myself. 



I remember the feeling of complete peace that came over me and I knew everything would be OK.   My eyesight began to clear and by late fall I was pregnant with my wonderful daughter.   Third,  this is the time of year that someone very dear to me died. I still miss her terribly.  So I guess in essence there is a compilation of so many snap shots and snippets from the tapestry of my life that flood my head and my heart this time every year.   I may be teary when I stop to remember, but they are tears of both happiness and sadness. Happy for all the moments of joy and love I have been blessed with and sadness for the losses and the moments that are forever gone.   I was listening to a Carpenter's  CD as I drove along the other day and I knew I should skip "We've Only Just Begun" but I just couldn't do it.  That was our song , sung at our wedding.    My eyes welled with tears and suddenly it was 1973 again.   This past weekend Tony and I were listening to the same CD and he asked if  "We've Only Just Begun" was on it and I said yes but we can't listen to it until our anniversary.  He said we could listen to it now and then...little did he know that I struggled to hold back tears as it played.  I guess maybe I am just an old softie but I'd rather be a Melancholy Baby than nobody's baby at all.    

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Am I Batty or WHAT???













As the saying goes...real life is stranger than fiction. Sometime ago - I had just gone to bed and was lying there almost asleep when I heard a weird clicking / whirring sound. I opened my eyes and could see by the light of the moon shining in the window, this thing flying in circles. It passed by my head two or three times before I could blink. I could see my big black cat, Thunder, sitting on the end of the bed and everytime this thing went by him he would swat at it. I could see that it was larger than I initially thought and as my heart beat faster, my head tried to make this be not so bad. I convinced myself it was a large moth. I sat up and quickly turned on the bedside lamp. My eyes adjusted just as it flew by my face and at that moment my brain telegraphed to my eyes that this was a BAT!...Thunder reached up and batted (no pun intended) it to the floor. I screamed for Tony, who was downstairs, to come quick! He ran upstairs not knowing what the emergency was and I pointed to the bat lying on the floor, apparently unconcious. I stayed safely on the bed while Tony, my knight in shining armour, got a broom and dust pan and swept the bat up. (Does this remind you of that old tv show Wild Kingdom where the host, Marlin Perkins would say something like "I'll stand here on the hill at a safe distance while Jim rassles the giant anaconda".) Chickens, that's us - me and Marlin. The bat, knocked silly and lying motionless, in the light did not look nearly as big or horrid as my imagination had made it out to be .... but still made me shiver. I asked Tony what he intended to do with it and he said take it out back and turn it loose. I immediately fastforwarded and imagined (revenge of the bat!)....sounds like a bad horror movie). When my nerves settled I said, "Wait a minute...how did that bat get into the house?" After contemplating the possibilties we decided that Thunder had brought it in as a gift since he was always trying to bring in lizards and garden snakes...never even injuring them. So we accused him and from that time on he had to say ahhhh before he came into the house to insure that he wasn't cheeking something scary! After a while we let down our guard when there were no more incidents. About a year later I was upstairs in bed and realized that Thunder, who always came up stairs when I did at night, was not in bed with me. I called with no response so I went downstairs to check on him. When I got to the bottom of the stairs I saw him sitting just outside the guest bedroom door looking through the crack behind the door. I called to him and got not even an ear twitch so concentrated was he. I thought...there must be a huge roach or rat behind the door. I am repulsed and yes, scared of both, so I took a gigantic step up onto the blanket chest just inside the room and reached waaay out and eased the door open. I was ready for the roach or rat to run out and the scream that was caught in my throat, waiting for release, just vanished as I looked at the little creature sitting there - and he was looking right back at me. Thunder had not moved and sat there as the little furry thing came waddling out and straight toward me. This is NOT a rat my brain signaled. Definitely NOT a rat. It's too adorable.  I called Tony to "come see if you know what this is?" It had no tail, was light brown, little rounded ears, frequently washed its face and was in no manner frightened of us. It didn't seem possible but we decided it was a hamster - no doubt. But WHERE did it come from? HOW did it get into our house? We both looked at Thunder. Could it be...he stole someone's hamster and brought it to our house? But how could that be? Did he go into someone's house? Was the hamster loose or did he get it out of the cage? Had the hamster somehow escaped and was outside and Thunder found it? Or if by a slim chance Thunder wasn't a guilty party, how did the hamster get into our house? Did he run away from home and come here on his own free will? Naw...couldn't be...hamsters are not long distance navigators. Had to be Thunder. We picked the little fellow up and found him to be very friendly. Upon examination we found not a scratch on him....yes we determined that it was a he hamster after doing a little research on the internet. "What will we do with him," we said. We ended up getting one of the cat carriers and putting him in some bedding, water, apple, walnuts and placing a paper towel for him to sleep under. He was a very happy camper. After we got him settled in, Tony went all over the neighborhood asking if anyone was missing a hamster. No takers. I knew even as cute as he was, it would not be wise to try and keep him with three cats in the house. The next day, one of my friends agreed to let her young daughter adopt him. To this day it is still a mystery as to how he came to be in our house. We still give Thunder the credit. It was certainly a step up from the bat.
About a month ago, it was de'ja' vu all over again. I was lying in bed reading about 11:00 o'clock one night when I heard a squeaking sound. Thunder was not in the room with me ...(Beginning to see the pattern here... late at night - me in bed... Thunder somehow involved...)At first I thought it must be a mouse that Thunder had cornered. I quickly and quietly slipped out of bed and turned my bedroom light on. At first I thought the sound was coming from out in the hall but just as I stepped toward the door I saw it in the corner behind the bedroom door. A BAT! I swear. I could not believe my eyes! I jumped back on the bed and ...you got it...screamed for Tony. By the time he got upstairs the bat had fluttered out of the bedroom and was somewhere in the hall. "Where is it?", Tony asked. I said I didn't know and he was on his own to find it. He eventually located it and used the old broom and dustpan maeuver and put it outside. Ok ...surely Thunder could not have brought a second bat in ... could he? Is this cat's shenanigins going to kill me yet! I made an executive decision to call a bat exterminator the day. There is no bat exterminator listed as such in the phone book so I called our regular exterminator and asked how he thought the bats were getting in and could he get rid of them. I told him I had looked at every possible way they could have gotten into the house and could find no obvious entry. He said that bats can enter a house through a miniscule opening, but that it wasn't very common, that light attracted them at night and that they got inside by accident and couldn't get out and that they were as frightened of me as I was of them. Easy for him to say. He isn't the one who's too paranoid to walk around inside his own house in the dark! He said there really wasn't a good way to exterminate them and that we should go in the attic at night and look for light sources coming through from the inside. I didn't tell him but there was no way in hell that I was going into a dark attic at any time of the day or night! We, well ok, Tony, looked for light sources and scouted every evening at dusk to see if and where they were going. He never found anything and eventually I had to let it go. It took me a while to get over feeling squeamish about walking around in the house at night. I still don't know if Thunder brought in bat number one and bat number two or one or neither. So far there have been no further incidents of critters invading us but I am not at all confident that it will last. IF Thunder is the culprit, he isn't saying, I have implored him to please stick to the cute cuddly creatures like the hamster, if he feels he must bring me gifts. My nerves can't take much more!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Katrina We Will Never Forget You

                                         
The 4th anniversary of Katrina is coming up and the memory is still all too fresh....the sights, the sounds, the smells, the feeling of deep loss of the familiar .... It is a constant reminder not to take anything or anyone for granted. It can be gone in the blink of a eye. The image is a self portrait taken in my driveway in Bay St. Louis a few weeks after Katrina. In all the chaos and destruction I still found beauty in the patterns of the dried mud.


Self Portrait

Saturday, August 1, 2009

I'd rather Smile

                                                                                                            
I've had a wonderful day ... every day spent with my sweetie is the best day of my life. We accomplished a lot around the house today, then went and bought new appliances (range & dishwasher ... YEAH!!!) followed by a delicious steak supper and good conversation. Couldn't get much better - but who knows - it might?


I am already looking forward to tomorrow ... I invited 13 people to join us for dinner tomorrow evening in celebration of Tony's 57th birthday, which will be Monday. I've had to endure being the older woman (again) for 11 days, which is the number of days between our birthdays.


I admit I am childish when it comes to gift giving occations. I can hardly stand to wait until I open my gifts and am not above begging to open them early and absolutely cannot stand to wait to give him his gifts. I gave him an early one today and got him good. He was convinced that I had a picture framed for him that I took out on the bay. (see latest photo at left). It was not that photograph that I gave him (ha!) but a collage of six photos that I had taken during each phase that Tony was building Teddy R. I added the title ("The Evolution of Teddy R.") which I thought was rather clever if I must say so. He was surprised and pleased I think. Since I am trying my best to save the card I got for him until his actual birthday, I shared my birthday card with him ... the one he gave me... that I have played (well who's counting the number of times) over the past week. It is the funniest card I have ever seen or heard. I may not file this one away but just keep it close at hand to play whenever I need a smile.


This morning was one of those times. I picked up the news paper from yesterday and saw the obituary for one of my first cousins. She was only one year older than I am. As children we spent a lot of time together. After the intial shock it became all too real. Our mortality and the fact that none of us can escape when our time is at hand. How can we know when that will be. Do we want to know. Not me. Maybe we will have some sign, some warning, some time to adjust to the idea that our days are numbered; like she did. I guess that's the only good thing about terminal cancer and also the worst ... that you know there is an end in sight - you just don't know exactly when or how it will come.


Although we had not been close for many years and did not see each other often, I felt a real loss and very sad that I'll never be able to see or talk to her again. And then I realized that instead of feeling depressed I should be celebrating her life and the times we shared. My most treasured memories are of the times she and her two younger sisters and I would stand out by the railroad track in front of their house and catch candy that the guy in the caboose would throw out to us. It seemed that that train was ten miles long and it took foreeever for the caboose to come into sight. As soon as it came around the bend the whistle began to blow and we would line up at the imaginary line (the one we knew we could not cross unless we wanted to be crushed by the train), eagerly anticipating that first handful of hard candy we knew was coming our way. We never thought that it was unusual and I guess in our childlike minds we might have even assumed that he threw candy to all the boys and girls along the way. I now doubt that was the case. I think he saw four ragamuffin little girls jumping up and down, waving and smiling just for him everyday at 2:15 PM and that made his day and he knew without a doubt that he made ours! So instead of tears, I'd rather smile and remember those times and be thankful I could share them with her.  I think she'd like that better too.