I've had a wonderful day ... every day spent with my sweetie is the best day of my life. We accomplished a lot around the house today, then went and bought new appliances (range & dishwasher ... YEAH!!!) followed by a delicious steak supper and good conversation. Couldn't get much better - but who knows - it might?
I am already looking forward to tomorrow ... I invited 13 people to join us for dinner tomorrow evening in celebration of Tony's 57th birthday, which will be Monday. I've had to endure being the older woman (again) for 11 days, which is the number of days between our birthdays.
I admit I am childish when it comes to gift giving occations. I can hardly stand to wait until I open my gifts and am not above begging to open them early and absolutely cannot stand to wait to give him his gifts. I gave him an early one today and got him good. He was convinced that I had a picture framed for him that I took out on the bay. (see latest photo at left). It was not that photograph that I gave him (ha!) but a collage of six photos that I had taken during each phase that Tony was building Teddy R. I added the title ("The Evolution of Teddy R.") which I thought was rather clever if I must say so. He was surprised and pleased I think. Since I am trying my best to save the card I got for him until his actual birthday, I shared my birthday card with him ... the one he gave me... that I have played (well who's counting the number of times) over the past week. It is the funniest card I have ever seen or heard. I may not file this one away but just keep it close at hand to play whenever I need a smile.
This morning was one of those times. I picked up the news paper from yesterday and saw the obituary for one of my first cousins. She was only one year older than I am. As children we spent a lot of time together. After the intial shock it became all too real. Our mortality and the fact that none of us can escape when our time is at hand. How can we know when that will be. Do we want to know. Not me. Maybe we will have some sign, some warning, some time to adjust to the idea that our days are numbered; like she did. I guess that's the only good thing about terminal cancer and also the worst ... that you know there is an end in sight - you just don't know exactly when or how it will come.
Although we had not been close for many years and did not see each other often, I felt a real loss and very sad that I'll never be able to see or talk to her again. And then I realized that instead of feeling depressed I should be celebrating her life and the times we shared. My most treasured memories are of the times she and her two younger sisters and I would stand out by the railroad track in front of their house and catch candy that the guy in the caboose would throw out to us. It seemed that that train was ten miles long and it took foreeever for the caboose to come into sight. As soon as it came around the bend the whistle began to blow and we would line up at the imaginary line (the one we knew we could not cross unless we wanted to be crushed by the train), eagerly anticipating that first handful of hard candy we knew was coming our way. We never thought that it was unusual and I guess in our childlike minds we might have even assumed that he threw candy to all the boys and girls along the way. I now doubt that was the case. I think he saw four ragamuffin little girls jumping up and down, waving and smiling just for him everyday at 2:15 PM and that made his day and he knew without a doubt that he made ours! So instead of tears, I'd rather smile and remember those times and be thankful I could share them with her. I think she'd like that better too.
