Rome Wasn't Built In a Day

I have deducted that I am incompatible with dieting.  Lord knows I've tried.  I used to tell myself that I could lose it if I really wanted to.  Well  I REALLY want to.  Pinkie swear. Tony agreed to try the Southbeach diet with me and I was positive that the pounds would melt away. They have...for Tony.  He's down 10-12 pounds and I'm up 2-3.  What's up with that!  I even accused him of booby trappying the scale but my clothes don't lie.  We got to the end of the third week and I just blew it wide open this past weekend.  We had company for the weekend and they brought lots of wonderful food with them.  I didn't want to be a rude host and not partake plus I'd eaten so much salad I was beginning to feel a little green myself.  I appear to be a complete diet failure. If I am honest with you I have to admit that this is not the first time.  Tony loves to tell this story... a few years back my daughter and I decided to go on the latest 3 day beets and cottage cheese craze that promised we'd loose at least five pounds by the end of the three days.  We both detest beets and cottage cheese. It was pure torture for three days but we stuck with it;  keeping the end goal insight....slimmer us (es).  The instructions specified that we should not weigh until the end of the third day.  At the appointed time we gathered  around the bathroom scale and giddy with excitement I stepped on ready to pat myself on the back for a job well done and celebrate the new svelte me.  I stepped off and back on convinced that the needle was stuck.  I looked at Tara and shook my head.  Too distraught to say it out loud.  With a look of dread she stepped on the scale and it immediately became  painfully apparent.  We had both suffered through three days of gags and agony and had not lost one solitary ounce between us!   We looked at one another and said simultaneously "Where's the Papa Johns' coupons? "  Tony had made himself scarce during the weigh since our mood was less than sunny by that time. We didn't have to announce the results because about 30 minutes later the pizza guy arrived.  Tony came in and said he guessed the diet results weren't what we had hoped for.  We just glared at him and kept stuffing our faces. We swore we'd ever eat beets or cottage cheese again and to my knowledge neither one of us has.   We have, on the other hand, eaten more than a few pizzas. Guess that would explain why I'm still voluptous. I'll keep trying though.  After all, you know...Rome wasn't built in a day